What comes to your mind when you see a subject that spells a great deal of negativity like this post? I am not going to kill myself, no way! But, I almost lost my life in my usual bus ride home earlier!!
I felt weird already when I first boarded the bus from the bus stop near my office. The bus reeked of kerosene, both outside and inside of it! I could smell it even before I got up the bus. Immediately I texted KL to ask him if it was normal for such a strong smell of kerosene to be present. His reply concurred to what I was thinking about in my head, to get down from that bus! However, I was too tired and this damn bus has taken so long to come so I cannot imagine how long it would take for the next one to come.
I fell asleep before I even realised, and by the time I opened my eyes; there was a whole lot of commotion on the bus. People were talking loudly, and I actually heard (when I pulled down my earphones of course!) "Ohhhh, no wonder there is such a strong smell of kerosene!" Everyone was then shooed down the bus by the helpless bus driver. Lucky I wasn't too far from home at that juncture.
This tiny episode suddenly enlightened me.. it must have been the wish of The Almighty up there, to let me be alive and live my life to the fullest. Life may have been really tough, and it is not any easier now with Rianne growing up so quickly. But I am strong. I will not quit, I will do whatever it takes to raise my little baby, my mistake from the past. No use looking back and dwelling on my stupidity which I can lament until the cows come home! I rather channel my efforts into better use like working hard and looking forward to a brighter future.. I know my time will come, the time when I finally taste happiness.
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