A Mother's Diary

For those of you who has the 'Travel & Living' channel at home, you probably would have seen this program during one of the weekday mornings - 'JON & KATE PLUS 8'.

I am a massive fan of this show!! The couple, Jon & Kate, are the luckiest people in the world! Imagine knowing that you are expecting triplets, you & your husband would probably deafen the gynae/ultrasound technician with screams of joy and excitement! Hear this, Kate was expecting 2 sets of triplets!! 6 babies in one stomach! Ok, now SCREAMMMMM....

They already had a set of girl twins, and with 2 more sets of triplets (1 set boys, 1 set girls); they are an enormous family of 10! The mother, Kate, had to leave her job as a nurse and stay home full-time to care for the 8 kids. I guess non-mothers would never know how darn tedious it is to care for 1 baby, and 8? A challenge, both emotionally & physically!

Just a few days into motherhood, and I am already feeling it.. Bathing the baby as soon as you just got out of bed, no, actually, feeding the baby before you even wake up, checking and changing diapers regularly, feeding the baby again every 2-3hourly, giving gripe water or plain water, burping the baby, and then repeating everything else again in a routine of 24-7.

Rianne seems to be having the runs today, or rather, since the day Mama R had super peppery pig intestine soup made by granny. I had the joy of changing 3 diapers at one time, because she was staining every new diaper I laid her bottoms on. And the poo, was the colour of my favourite song by COLDPLAY - 'Yellow'. "It was all yellow.."

I hope those are the jaundice substance (bilirublin) present inside Rianne, and she's finally working them out of her body! Way to go, Junior! =)

Can't resist showing all of you the below pictures of Rianne all covered up, all showered and 'fisting' around!

Children really grow so quickly..

It may sound silly, but it is really fascinating to see how small children grow ever so quickly.. just like my two precious nephews, Joaquin & Jayden.

Both were born respectively in March and April last year, which means they are turning 1 very soon. After the birth of my sister's No. 2, my family will then comprise of 2 one year olds, and 2 newborns.. 2 boys and 2 girls! Such a handful of children..

With my brother and his wife not together anymore, we are seeing lesser of Joaquin. But luckily we are very much on talking terms with my sister-in-law still, or rather, my sister-in-law is still so concerned about that heartless brother of mine. Apart from letting his wife down, my brother had also made everyone in his family worried and disappointed, time & time again! His latest arrest has landed himself a 15mths imprisonment & 8 strokes of cane sentence. I wish I could help him.. Going under the cane for 8 strokes is really a hefty punishment, for an underdog like my brother. What did he do? Not the mastermind of a robbery, nor is he the triad leader who loan out bucks to people.. just a small fry, and yet have to be punished that heavily.

I feel bad that I am unable to go visit my brother until I finish my confinement. I have so much to share with him, especially my story about baby Rianne. My brother loves kids as much as everyone else in my family, so I know he will definitely adore Rianne.. I am pretty sure that he will miss very much another important person of his life - his son, Joaquin. He is one of the inspirations for this post, when he and his mummy came visiting me on Sunday; and he is such a big boy now!


This baby is now a big boy who can clap his hands, do the 'Twinkle, twinkle little star' opening and clenching his fists, and move really quickly on the floor..

The other big guy is Jayden.. I was surprised at how much he has grown since the last time I saw him, which was just before I had given birth. He was wearing the polo-tee I bought for him from UK, and it fitted so well; like a small adult!

Hmmmm, to conclude, children grow up fast and people age like water flowing from a fountain. I am honestly contented with what I have at the age of 31 - a progressing career, a family who cares and love one another, a bunch of best friends, and my most precious darling - Rianne.

Home Sweet Home..

Finally, my little princess is home after a long week spent in the hospital! We have her bed (with a pink heart-shaped balloon tied to it, compliments from J Quek), and everything else all ready for her..

She wasn't too difficult to handle (hah, better not speak too soon!), only a little tricky to get her to wake up for milk. She was sleeping and sleeping, maybe to make up for the loss of it when she was in hospital having injections & blood drawn everytime. So when she's sleeping beyond her feeding time, I have to express milk and store it in the freezer/fridge (if I am confident she will consume it within 48hrs).

The irregular feeding and a little pee & poo, got me & my mum sleeping at only 3am last night! Boy, we were so tired and I had overslept til 5am when my alarm was supposed to wake me up at 4.30am to feed Rianne! I have to feed her with pre-expressed milk (a whopping amount of 50ml!) which was faster, as the problem with Rianne's breastfeeding is, she always fall asleep after a while of suckling. And that I mean, she really falls into deep slumber.. No matter how I tried to wake her up, or tease her with the 'milk tap'; she just wouldn't respond.

I'm glad I gave her the 50ml of pre-expressed milk last night, coz we (mother & daughter) slept like logs after that! Talking about kinship, I can't help but find it amazing that me & my darling are really connected.. A few ocassions she was yawning, and I follow suit. Or else, it was me who yawned first and she did next. Sorry to be crude, but we are even farting consecutively one after another! What an amazing bonding of the gases, Hahahaha..

You guys must have heard of people who got their names, not from their parents but from fortune-tellers or some prestigious geomancer. I have got a naming master to give Rianne a chinese name based on the date & time of her birth. The analysis of the Rianne's fortune says that she is born in the 'Water' element. However, her life does not consist of enough 'Water', plus another element - 'Gold'. Hence, the 5 top blessed names, and 2 sets of chinese characters which I can form them up myself, are of these 2 elements. Anyway, I like to thank my dear sister-in-law for the kind name suggestion 'LIM KIM ZUI'.. Thanks, but I rather go with one of these below! ;p

Lin Yu(3rd) Yao(2nd) - Like this because it sounds so poetic

Lin Yi(1st) Ting(2nd)

Lin Wan(3rd) Xuan(2nd) - My most liked so far

Lin Yu(4th) Han(2nd)

Lin Yu(4th/2nd) Xuan(2nd) - Like these two second best

Lin Yu(4th) Qi(2nd)

Not really going to poll for the most preferred name, but I am open to all your votes..

Latest picture of Rianne.. which of the above names best suit her?

Children grow so quickly!!

OK, a quick update of Rianne now before I talk about bigger kids..

My mum had visited her last night, and she has regained her birth weight; which by the doctor's words, would be fit enough to go home. But they (nurses & docs in SCN) spotted another problem with my girl. They found her to be repulsive to the milk she has taken in, kinda like gagging out the milk. HUH?! Isn't this normal for every baby? Especially when most of the time they are drinking milk in a lying down posture, it is not surprising if milk gets repelled out from their mouths right?

I decided that I would call and check on Rianne's discharge status, rather than wasting tens of dollars going straight down to the hospital. Nurse said the milk repulsion has stopped, but her weight has dropped by a tiny bit. WHAT?! Can they just stop tormenting the mother?! Just a few grams of weight loss and they want to keep the baby away from the mama?! I told the nurse that I am confident that Rianne would regain her weight when she gets home to her mum, as I would breastfeed her and my milk supply now; is quite substantial. *Latest collection of milk is at 30-40ml, a proud record I would say..

So now, I can only wait, wait for good news to come..

Folks, good news is finally here.. I am fetching baby Rianne from the hospital now!! Talk to you soon!! ;p

Kudos to Breastfeeding!

Nah, you haven't heard me wrong.. I am indeed all for breastfeeding!

Soon after Rianne's birth, she was put close to me and was feeding on mummy's milk for the first time. It felt incredible as Rianne suckled gently with her eyes closed, knowing that she is safe and warm, cuddled up in mama's arms. There was no pain when her little mouth latched onto my breasts, in fact, I feel wonderful..

However, I knew I wasn't producing milk quite enough in this early stage, so Rianne still need to take formula milk at the same time. But I didn't want to give up.. at least not so soon. The lactation nurses in KK Hospital were a helpful bunch, and with the hospital so strongly promoting breastfeeding; it was easy to pick up the techniques.

Mummy had videoed Rianne's breastfeeding time, and I have watched it in awe (of myself, of course!) several times already. My friends J, E, and Z who had visited me in the hospital saw me breastfeeding Rianne so 'non-discreetly', hahahaha!! I guess that's one of the maternal instincts I unknowingly developed..

With Rianne not by my side now, I have to 'express' (a nicer-sounding word than 'milking', 'squeezing' right?) milk regularly so that the milk production would not hence stop. Encouragement and tips from my best friend X, plus my determination to give Rianne the best food, marked my first step in milk expressing.

I do not want to sound like I'm an expert here, but actually I am quite pleased with how I managed to hand express (just droplets), and then express even easily with the use of a manual hand pump. Though the output wasn't a great amount, I am still happy.


The valuable colostrum, which is rich in antibodies to help babies fight against infection.

Mothers-to-be, I have never expected myself to be able to go through childbirth; nor have I imagined myself to be breastfeeding a baby. But all this happened, because I told myself "I can if I try, and if I can't, at least I tried.."

Confinement woes!!

You know, having delivered a baby with so much twist and turns makes me feel that if I could overcome the hardship of childbirth; what else is there I can't conquer?

The answer is, CONFINEMENT! This term, commonly used in the Chinese community; refers to the 1 month period whereby new mothers are deprived of their freedom to eat, drink, move, bath and do anything as they like. Even their rest time is being arranged or manipulated!

My confinement lady - Annie Mummy, is my worst enemy for now. She started the confinement regime as soon as I gave birth, even when I am still in the hospital. I wasn't allowed to eat any food from the hospital menu, as they are not the proper confinement food; meaning the ingredients they use are not 'approved' and may be harmful for post-birth recovery.

At home, I am forced to be in long pants and bedroom slippers (which has been my regular habit, luckily) without any fan switched on no matter where I am at, and including bedtime! It was downright torture to sleep without the fan nor the windows open.. I was tossing and turning when each side that I slept on got extremely hot and unbearable.

All my meals were home-cooked and prepared conscientiously by my mum. She takes pride in her culinary skills, but I am sorry to say that those dishes are awful! I don't mean awful tasting, but awful to have at every single meal! I have stir-fried lean pork slices, fish cooked in wine, vegetables with minced pork, all fried with lots of ginger! Hate the ginger (though I love it with xiaolong baos), as it is actually what makes Rianne jaundiced! But my stubborn enemy says it is essential to have lots of ginger intake during confinement, the logic is to expel wind out of my body. Don't thank me for all the farting, thank my mum!

Have I mentioned about showering? "Don't you dare harbour thoughts of pouring water down your naked body!" - said the confinement devil inside me. Can you believe, I have not showered nor wash my hair for 5 days until yesterday? Trust me, I have never been such a mega turn-off before and I know my friends who have seen me in that state, were just being kind not to comment.

See for yourself here.. but don't say I didn't warn you..


My hair were all lumpy due to the grease and grim accumulated over the 5 days, and I was basically stinking to an extent. I was almost dying, out of irritation from not being able to touch water, and with my never-ending post bleeding. And of course, from missing my little girl so much!

Comparing pregnancy blues to contraction pains, to childbirth, and to confinement; the winner of all pain unbearable is CONFINEMENT!

Signing off with another gross picture, of my bruised thigh..

My name is Rianne

Drums rolling, please.. I am proud to introduce to you, Baby Rianne aka Little Junior - the 2nd lead cast of this blog.

Rianne - (American) Happy
DOB: 16th Feb 2009
Time of birth: 0858hrs
Weight: 2.036grams

This little princess has a 100% resemblance to her daddy, don't you all agree? Annie Mummy had said that her hair was black at first sight, and now it has turned into brown/dark blonde; the same hair color of Papa D.

It isn't so much of a concern who she eventually take after, as long as she is a HAPPY, PRETTY & HEALTHY baby! However, baby Rianne seems to have missed the last target by a little..

Today (5 days since she was born), she is still in the hospital, lying under a Phototherapy machine with a drip going into her body from the feet. Rianne wasn't discharged when I could, due to a slightly over the level jaundice. She was undergoing phototherapy (using strong UV light exposure over the whole body) in the ward nursery, blindfolded and topless. There were bandages on her feet, which I believed they had drawn her blood there.

I received a call yesterday, and perceiving it to inform me that Rianne could go home, I was elated. But instead it was telling me that my princess has been detected with a high blood count, and has been sent to the Special Care Nursery for treatment. I asked the nurse further but she wants me to go down to the hospital personally so that the specialist could better explain to me.

The Special Care Nursery (SCN), or also known as Neonatal Unit, keeps all the premature babies and babies who need medical treatment for jaundice. The problem with Rianne is she has a higher red blood cell count, which in laymen terms mean that her blood is thicker than normal people. This condition may cause her blood to form clots which in turn affect the flow of blood to everywhere in the body. The only treatment for this would be to draw out a certain portion of her thick blood, and then infuse the rest of her blood with saline solution. According to the doctor, this is a simple and safe procedure which uses the drip and most of the babies have no implications after that.

Before we left, the doctor has actually confirmed that the number of red blood cells does not warrant for the need of the treatment. I was so relieved and glad that very soon I would be reunited with my precious. But God seems to be playing games with me, as this morning I found out that they have actually administered the saline infusion treatment onto Rianne.

I cried and cried, when I envisaged Rianne to have a drip hanging onto her tiny body, lots of needle holes and definitely pain! I can tell you without a doubt, this sight is the most daunting picture any parents would hate to see. My tears rolled down when I reached the SCN, as I see my girl in tubes with fluid flowing into her body through her baby feet! I stayed by her side, sitting next to her baby cot and stroking her hair and body as the UV lights shone through. I didn't want to leave her at all..

The doctor (not the same one who spoke with me that night) gave me a brief of what was going on with Rianne now. They decided that Rianne should undergo the saline treatment so that she will have an easier time when she's growing up. As for her jaundice, it is still not at a normal level; hence she needs to be under the machine for a couple more days.. couple more days, so the doctor had said.

Miracle of Life

"Today marks the beginning of the end.." Well, these words from Mr Obama kinda make a good opening for this post; so here is my story..

Feb 12 - Almost fainted twice on the streets, and got admitted to KK Hospital after my rountine checkup at my gynae.

Reason : High Blood Pressure of 138 (1st measurement) and then 142 (2nd take). Protein contents were also detected in urine samples.

I was put on the CTG machine (for monitoring baby's heartbeat and contractions) the minute I got into the hospital. Being a regular at the labour ward, I already knew what was in for me.. 4 tubes of blood were drawn, and the needle was kept in for the use of a drip when the need arises. The nurses had to take my BP periodically, in case it shoot rocket-high. I was given a jab on my right thigh to strengthen Junior's lungs quickly, if I had to go into early labour.

End of day : No significant drop of BP, and urine were still showing high protein amounts. (Hated the collecting of my urine in a tub, nasty!!)

Feb 13 - Had another 4 tubes of blood drawn, and the 2nd injection on my left thigh. The nurse who administered the jab praised me for being brave.. Of course I am, I had the same jab for the 4th time already!! (Watch out for the pic of my bruised thigh..)

Feb 14 - Happy Valentine's! Am still stuck in the hospital with high BP and urine not showing much progress. The other mamas in the same ward have delivered, carried their babies and gone home; except for another girl and me. Her husband looks Nepalese, and that sweet guy actually bought her a rose! Wanted to talk to her since both of us are in the same 'sampan', but think I'd better leave her alone as she was already showing signs of pain somehow through her face.

Feb 15 - After days & nights of monitoring, the house doctor came to me with a scary piece of news! My urine results have shown that my kidneys are slightly affected at this stage of my pregnancy, and thus the doctor is recommending to induce birth for Junior. It means that Junior would be forced to born prematurely, at only 35weeks. I wasn't too sure if that's the best thing to do, as from the ultrasound done yesterday, Junior is only 2.1kg currently. I wanted to seek a 2nd opinion from my gynae, so I brushed that suggestion away.

Thinking that I might not be too clear of the present situation, the house doctor walked back to my bed and explained again. First affected are my kidneys, and if my BP rise even more, my liver will be next, then my brain. The worst case is I might get a fit, and no more oxygen / nutrients will go to Junior. With that happening, I will need to have a Caesarian operation to deliver Junior.

After a discussion with Papa D, I decided to go with the birth induction. I was sent to the labour ward once again, at 6pm to insert the pill. That done, I was strapped on again to the CTG machine til 8.30pm, and sent back to the ward afterwards.

9pm : Mild contractions started to hit me, and all I could take was a few bites of a McChicken burger. Transferred to the B1 ward with the help of my sis-in-law, who managed to convince the Admissions Dept that I am very likely going to deliver tomorrow, and hence needed to upgrade urgently such that my gynae will be able to attend to my delivery.

Feb 16 - 12am : My mum's gone home for the night after she got me all settled in. I wasn't able to get to sleep like how I could for the past few days, and relied on the TV and my iPod to relax.

3am : My BP rose to its highest of 170 and I felt some waters underneath, on my buttocks. It was then I realised I was actually bleeding ('a show' in expectant terms).. Nurses ushered me into the labour ward Room No.17.

5.30am : Annie Mummy reached, and thank goodness I was sleepy. I managed to catch some wink before the doctors came in and checked on my cervix dilation. I was merely 2cm dilated, and one of the doctors proceeded to break my waterbag. For those curious to know, that fluid is actually warm..

6.30am : Contractions got closer and more intense.. Being stubborn to use the 'gas' and any other pain relief, I was enduring hard. The mid-wife kept urging me to opt for the epidural soon if I really can't bear with the pain. My mum massaged my back whenever the contractions came, and it helped a lot!! I clinged on tight to the bed rim, and not forgetting to breathe smooth..

7.30am : Pain was so unbearable now, and at a point of time, I actually wanted to get onto the ground coz I want to walk the pain away! Signed for the administration of an epidural, as I know I have reached my highest endurance level and it would be a few more hours before I get fully dilated. The mid-wife told me the anaesthetist would be arriving soon to do the injection for me, so in the meantime I should use the 'gas'.

8.00am : Inhaled the 'gas' for a while, but somehow I feel like something, like poo, is coming out.. I used the 'pant, pant, blow' technique to stop myself from pushing, as I know it is definitely not s*#@ that is trying to come out!

At the next minute of my contraction, I knew I had pushed Junior's head out uncontrollably. I was frantically waving (my mouth covered by the 'gas' mask) at the mid-wife, trying to tell her that I had done something which I shouldn't supposed to do yet; at least not when I am less than 10cm dilated. She checked me, and exclaimed "Yes Puay Puay, you are right. The baby's head is coming out!" Next thing I remember, was my mum pressing on my thigh making sure I don't lift my butt up in case I tear, ermmm, you know where.

The wait for my gynae to appear seems forever, and in my head, I was busy reciting these words "I WON'T PUSH, I WON'T PUSH!" But however hard you try to resist pushing, the only reaction your body takes to it is pushing!

I shut my eyes tight when I was pushing, pretending to not know I was pushing; and not to be caught as well.. A sign of relief came when I heard my mum greeting my gynae. It does make a lot of difference to my mental wellness at that time, knowing that it isn't just any mid-wife who will be delivering my baby.

Minutes before 8.58am : All set for delivery as I propped my legs up into the delivery position. Dr Wee and the mid-wife was shouting the one word which I was so fearful of just minutes before - "PUSH!" Naturally, I couldn't wait to push and as I was pushing, 3 other words were circling in my mind. They were HAPPY, PRETTY, & HEALTHY. If you are pondering why those words would come at such unexpected time, I would say that's probably how I would want to see Junior like when she enters the world.

8.58am : I can't remember how many times I actually pushed, but when I felt some small little feet kicking around my private; I knew my baby girl has arrived! Her cries were loud, but not angry.. it sounded like she's happy to finally meet everyone! Dr Wee held her high up to show me, and I think they were trying to make me acknowledge Junior's gender. Although she looks 'musky' and dirty, I could tell that she is a pretty baby.. Cool, one target (PRETTY) met!

At this stage, everyone had their duties to fulfill.. The mid-wife was busy with Junior at the baby's corner (a table with mattressed and equipment), and Dr Wee was sewing me up while stealing a few glances at the TV. Only me and my mum were idle, and we began chatting. We talked about the baby, her crying, her hair color, and wondered if she was feeling cold. Oddly, an emotional rush suddenly hit me and I was all weepy and touched by this whole childbirth thingy.

The most amazing thing has taken place, and in the most unexpected way.. Feb 16th, the day of a huge milestone in my life.

6 more weeks to go!!

I ain't bragging, but I am quite sure that any girl who have been through what I have, would have thrown the white towel out of their ring long ago..

You may think that the final trimester should be the easiest period of the whole 40 weeks pregnancy. But actually, it isn't.. My body is in a downright declining state now, and everyday I am just more exhausted than the previous day.

I had tried my best to drag myself out of bed since yesterday, so as to go back to the office for my laptop and to settle some outstanding work. But I was all fluey just after my bath, and was sneezing non-stop. Being pregnant means I have to live with the flu, not able to use any medication, and not even my long-term flu-relief - the VICKS inhaler. Hence, I went back to sleep til I got hungry, cooked myself some instant porridge and laid on the bed again. This sleep-eat-sleep routine was in play again today, and frankly, I am starting to wonder if that large amount of sleep has made me even more exhausted..

Maybe not just me who is affected, but Junior as well. I noticed her moving lesser in my stommie these days. She hasn't been her usual activitiful, esp at her playtime from 10pm onwards. The term 'decreased fetal movement' is one of the signs (I learnt from the antenatal class) to admit myself into hospital, and that is really not what I want right now. I have to call out to my precious princess, get her to respond, and have her do her usual grooves & moves before I can sleep at ease.

As I am writing this, I have to say that Junior has yet to move a single time today.. the norm must be at least 10 times a day. Could she have overslept coz mummy has been sleeping so much today? Or could it be because mummy's wrist is hurting and swelling after the jab at the hospital that day? Thanks to Annie Mummy, who knocked into the needle-head and left me squirming with pain.. Evidence of a blue-black bruise as shown in below picture..



Little Junior, Mama R loves you more than anything in this world, so would you please let me know you are ok? Go on and kick as much as you want, I promise I won't scold..

Picture Gallery

This is for all you out there.. a recap of me & Little Junior.


When me & Papa D were still an item, touring Winsor.


My pregnancy just detected, and looking like I am not..


The most amazing image to be shown on a monitor..


Not too long before the first bulge is seen..


Signs of Junior's growth in my stommie..


Me dipping into Exhaustion-mode ever since..


And my heaviest and largest ever spare-tyre!!

The next time you see me, it will be pictures of an overly, overly exhausted and heavy mama gritting her teeth in the labour ward. I am so sure that you would be able to spell the word 'FEAR' all over my face.. Good luck, Mama R.

THANK YOU!

If you have not guessed so, this post is all gratitude and hushy-mushy for all my friends and loved ones, who have stayed beside me & Little Junior these 34 weeks!

My mum & family, for supporting my decision since Day One and offering their help whenever, wherever they can..
My bestest friends, for their encouragement and advice (esp. very useful preggy info) and even volunteering to be at the labour ward to root for me!!
My colleagues and boss, for being ever so understanding and helping me out with work.

I also want to thank my 'loyal' blog readers (you know who you are!!) for being so concerned about me and my condition. I am indeed honoured to know that people actually enjoy reading my blog.. (head swelling now, heehee!!)

Well, if you remember my earlier words before, I am not a born-blogger myself. I was inspired by this husband, Dylan Tan, who has a blog about his wife's pregancy, and now pregnancies. His eloquent writing impresses not only me, but a great pool of loyal readers that you can see for yourself here.

His wife, or 'the Mrs' as how he call her, delivered a pair of twins on the same day I was admitted to the hospital. She had to undergo a C-section to take the babies out at their only 35th week. But I am so happy and emotional when I saw the pictures of the lovely twins, as they have indeed fought hard and long for this day. Their birthday was exactly the birthday of 'Ti Gong' (the God of the Heavenly Palace). And as my mum had said (she had thought Junior would be born this day), babies born on the 3rd Feb will be blessed by Ti Gong like as if they are his children. I know Dylan's twins will be so loved by everyone, esp. readers like me!

OK, so to aplease my own loyal readers, I have to expose this ugly side of me - my tummy at 8mths of pregnancy! Looking at the pictures, you may wonder how can I even tie my drawstring pants with the tummy blocking? The truth is, I can't.. I feel and tie without looking.


Check out the dark naval line which doesn't follow a straight line?!


The covered up Mama R at 54kg, with Junior weighing 1.8kg inside!

With my hospitalization leave til the 20th, I'd better start repacking my hospital bag.. Delivery suite, here I come!!

The worst time of my life!!

Folks, before I start blabbering about how bad my life has became and flood this post with negativity; please be gracious and accept my apology in advance..

What in heaven's name did I do to deserve all this? I got pregnant unknowingly, and to save an innocent life; I sacrificed whatever ahead of me and stood up to be a single mum! Thinking I would definitely be able to give the best for my baby, I forgot that there were still so many things and people who were also relying on me..

Just my pregnancy, has already brought me lots of ups and downs.. It is not the easiest or smoothest journey anyone would like to take. Being admitted to the hospital several times, exposed to the fear of losing Junior and then the likelihood of delivering her prematurely. And all the ailments I am facing everyday, makes people around me feel the pain as much; so much that my boss says she wish I would give birth soon! Well, that almost happened on Tuesday, when I went to the hospital over a complaint of dizziness. Who would have expected that dizzy spell to turn into sudden admission into the labour ward, and then me strapped onto the fetal and contraction monitor machine! Soon later, midwives and nurses were coming into the room briefing me about the costs of delivery before my EDD. I wasn't able to activate the 'Classic Package' which I opted for Junior's birth, as I am still not 36weeks into my pregnancy. In other words, I have to pay for everything in their standard charges dependent on what class of rates I choose, subsidized or private. I was told that with private class rates, Junior if born premature, would have to be in ICU for 27 days which will cough up to a whopping $20,000! However, the setback for taking subsidized class would mean that my gynae not necessarily will deliver Junior.

In the midst of figuring out why I was in the labour ward, my sister phoned me and said she can't be there for me due to religious reasons. Her mother-in-law said it would clash with her unborn, so for the sake of my future niece I can't force my sister. That was when I started to get cold feet and was close to tears.. I was just scared that I might be well delivering my first baby just like that! Very shortly, a doctor came and explained what was going on. She told me I am having regular contractions that come every 4-5mins, and that shouldn't be happening in my 33rd week. She went on to examine my ermmm, cervix, to see if it has any dilation. Not the most pleasant feeling for sure, but at least I got my mind at ease after the 'wrist-in' check.

I was put on medication every 15min while my contractions were still being monitored. Mummy arrived, and was confused why and how did I end up in the labour ward. I couldn't explain much to her as I was still feeling faint, especially after the doctor poked a syringe into the back of my hand and drew 4 tubes of blood from me! The needle was left inside just so that it would be easier if they need me to be on a drip. Then I was pushed on a wheelchair to do an ultrasound scan; and mind you, I haven't eaten anything the whole morning. By the time I was announced contraction-free, it was already 4pm and I was close to fainting due to hunger.

The next 24 hours was unbearable, as I was put under observation in the normal ward - C class ward which was the subsidized class I'd picked. It is not the comfort issue (without aircon and TV), but rather the peace and tranquility a patient needs for her rest. I wasn't able to get a good night's sleep when visitors were roaming in after the official visiting time, nurses not keeping their voices down when doing their rounds, and the most irritating of all, was the squeaking of the trolleys going up and down the aisle of the ward! The next ridiculous thing was having the nurses turned up at my bed at 4am in the morning just to take my temperature, blood pressure and hear this, take an urine test! Do a what? at 4am?! It may be wee hours but that doesn't mean that everybody will have some wee to provide!!

Next up was the doctors surprising me at my bed at 6.45am! God, can someone give me a break already?! I wasn't paying too much attention to their discussion and examination analogy, as I really want to get my sleep! I only heard that I am ok, but whether I get to go home or not is still a question! That was not my primary concern then, and I headed back to sleep until my sister called to say she's coming over to see me. Finally, someone who can comprehend what I am going through..

Boy, am I glad when I was finally discharged from the hospital.. I secretly hid the sharp pains I felt in my pelvic area from the doctors, so that I can go home. But that is just stupid of me, coz I was suffering from it the minute I got home til this morning. It actually felt like the pain you get from urine infection; minus the burning peeing sensation. It didn't help when nightmare struck and got me yelling and screaming for my mum, but my cries were left unheard. Ok, wimpy is so not my style; but bear with me as more grumpy stories are told.. next post ok, coz this one is already so long. ;p