My neglected darling

Sounds like I am an extremely bad mom right? Never my intention to be one, really...

Rianne's daddy has not for 1 day, given up the idea of having Rianne stay with him in the UK. I can totally comprehend why, and I wish to be able to grant him this chance especially after news of the demise of his dad came to me. I was actually feeling very compassionate towards daddy D when he texted me. His life has been way too tough on him.

However, sympathy aside, I need to ask myself the big question.. Will daddy D be capable and physically fit to take care of Rianne? Of course, he may be able to get someone to be the caregiver for Rianne. But will it be the best environment for Rianne to grow up in? Although I am not absolute certain that a single-parent environment with a workaholic mom, and an extremely shopaholic grandma aka the caregiver, here in SG will be the perfect environment for a growing toddler; but I will definitely try my best to give everything I can within my means for my precious darling.

Being out of touch of Facebook for a long time, means the latest pictures of Rianne have not been 'exposed'.. hahaha!! So, for you guys there.. yes, my ardent supporters of this blog.. please enjoy my naughty girl's supermodel shots! ;)

Social Media dilemma

I have been thinking for a while since K broke up with me..

Should I reactivate my Facebook account which I so ungrudgingly closed because K blocked me for some reason? Should I place pictures of me & Rianne on my MSN again, as I have not done in a long time because K didn't like Rianne? Should I even be blogging about my newly found bliss, when it has been less than a month since my breakup with K?

All these form the social media dilemma that I am undergoing.. But beneath lies an even bigger dilemma which only me myself can provide the answer to it.

Come to think of it, I am no longer answerable to K, and neither are my actions accountable to him. I don't even have to spare a thought for him, as it is my life and happiness that I am truly pursuing now. If someone can treat me the way a boyfriend should be doing, then why the hesitation?! My heart is going to say "yes" to this sweet person who despite his own discomfort, made an effort to have dinner with me in nowhere near his place but mine instead. My mind will be set to follow as well, and will stop pushing his love for me away.

Emptiness and Bliss

Someone's display message on MSN today read "Empty feeling...".

It's kinda ironic actually, to hear that coming from a person who's forever independent, and unexpectedly the same guy who chose to be "empty".

I am not gloating, I really am not. He might jolly be feeling like this because his folks have came and left Singapore today, and that sense of emptiness suddenly shook him by surprise. The second wave of surprise hit me instead of him, when he wrote me an email to thank me for the hotel arrangement I made for his parents. He even told me that he and his family enjoyed themselves fully.

Good to know that.. at least I didn't screw up the accomodation arrangement and land myself in some verbal lashing.

Well, I did not want to appear like I'm all needy and ready anytime to return to his arms, if he were to ask. So, there was no reply from me at all. Not an email, nor a message on MSN. In fact if he's smart enough, he would be able to read between the lines of my MSN message and leave me completely alone. My message goes like this "It feels really nice to be called a distraction.", and a smiley emoticon at the end.

The cheeky person who said that, told me he decided he wants to be distracted.. Awwwwww, soooooo sweet isn't it? =) It's been a long time since I felt flattered, wanted and in control of a situation which I am pretty sure, is only to my favour. And this, is what I called bliss.

Finally I can taste BLISS. Sweet like sugar, and happy like never before.. :)

Rebound

The big bowl of black herbal jelly that is right in front of me now, reminds me of the silly person who told me this is made from the shell of a turtle.. *fainted...

You probably wonder, how can someone this innocent be the same nasty guy who broke my heart?? Unfortunately, it is a matter of fact. So much true that I am even suspecting, could this be a case of 'Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde'?!! Well, whatever the kind of personalities he may have; I should never allow myself to be ran over and kicked aside, like some kind of roadkill. So, move on now, Reggie!!

I am beginning to buy the philosphy of "When you shut a door, another one opens". It seems to be so for not just me, but my friend Jenn as well; which is just damn deserving for her finally! There's someone out there now, impressing me with his considerate, sensitive and super-ultra sweet persona! I can almost tell that he's ready to bare his heart to me, if I had asked him to.

This feels weird and certainly not the right time.. as honestly, I have not stopped thinking about MR PIG, as much as I want to.. I don't want to be on a rebound and hurt anyone in the process. It's not going to be fair to this nice guy, as he is only trying to be good to a girl.