Ms Fiancée - Me!!!

Eventhough no proposal's made yet by my beloved, I am still over the moon!

Yesterday was one of the those surreal moments I ever had being with KL in the past 6 months. We have been discussing and wondering if we should be applying for a flat soon, considering how long it takes for BTO (Built to Order) flats to be ready.

So, it felt just like the right thing to do, when the launch of new BTO flats were announced on Thursday. He was the one who initiated and did all the research about the available locations in this round of BTOs. We concluded that Yishun will be the best among the lot, and at least, more favourable to us and our families. And when I said favourable to our families, I really have their interests at heart.

Not my mom nor KL's family is aware of our intention. We do not want to reveal anything until we are balloted to select for the flats. Right now, it is still pretty much waiting, and fantasizing about our dream home.

We went checking out the location at Yishun where our potential house might be. It was such a great feeling knowing that I am going to build a home with this guy who's so much in love with me & Rianne. He was equally happy when we went scouting and peeping (yes, we really did peered into people's flats!) at the previous BTO flats, which are now ready and occupied.

We walked around the estate and to the MRT station, to get a gauge of the proximity to the train station. The walk was tiring, but I know both of us ain't at all exhausted. We were smiling and feeling all too excited about the plot of land where building works are just commencing.. ;)

PMS

I never believe in PMS, and I certainly ain't a victim of PMS.. or at least I thought I am not, until just now.

I was already cranky since my mom left me alone with Rianne early this Friday morning. The only reason why I was home instead of at work, is because I have fallen ill; quite badly ill as a matter of fact.

The cold from Wednesday night did not go away, but got worse. I was completely knocked down by the flu bug, sneezing and coughing away. I wasn't able to get off bed at all, not until Rianne dragged me out; she practically did that!

I had to go to the doctor, but with Rianne around? It was just so hard. KL offered to come by after work to bring me to the clinic, and I appreciate this kind gesture of his. However, it must be the PMS thing that makes me unreasonably unhappy with almost every single thing he does at my place.

His unwillingness to share with me about his interview, his mean words about Rianne, his refusal to stay over, all triggered my rage. I actually chased him home even before it was time to (he had said 11pm). I was just pissed with him sitting there, refusing everything I wanted for him. I didn't even stand at the corridor waving goodbye to him, like I always does with a reluctant heart to see him go.

I did peep, however, at him from outside of my flat, walking to the MRT station. I got more sore when I saw him busy on his mobile phone as he walked, but nothing came onto my phone. He wasn't texting me, obviously!

We are both in agreement of not probing into the privacy of who we SMS, or talk to, on our mobiles. So, I never brought that up when I call him eventually. I told him I was angry and unhappy, and even said I hate him for the silliest reason like not staying over at my place. I wonder what got into me?!!! Ehhhhh, it was PMS. Period.

Hahahaha..

Life.. Unexpected

Came to a conclusion that life's can be pretty fascinating as to how everyones' turn out to be so different.

Got news of an ex-bf going to marry his rebound gf, for the most unexpected reason I would expect coming from a sensible guy like him. But, on the other hand, it is kinda an expected action he would take being such a responsible man he is.

He was the 2nd guy in my life I wanted to marry, and I was quite sure of the happiness that is bound to come with the wedding. In fact, we were so close to being wed to each other as we had a flat application already put up. Things changed, and I admit if not because of me, we would be already married by now.

I do not know if we are both better off without each other. But one thing I am clear is, we were both deeply in love with one another when we were together. It was just not meant to be, for us.

Today, I am happily in love with KL and feeling so, so, so much blessed that he have never looked me down for what I have done before in the past. For a guy, a younger guy, to accept a woman who has a lovechild with her past lover, is a huge deal. He either gets mocked for being stupid or blind, or commended for being so magnimous.

I always tell him that I don't deserve him, not because I don't love him enough; but because life has been very kind to me. My close friend tells me, she foresee if I were to lose KL one day, I will be extremely heart-broken and may even go crazy. My friend is right, that will happen.

My life, a life filled with imperfections, has finally found a harbour which I can anchor securely at. This Pearl Harbour, gives me peace and so much love to Rianne and myself, that I have got nothing more to ask for, than a life expected to end with a sweet footer.. :)