KL was so against the name 'Kashton', and me so not liking the name 'Rowan'. Not with the intention of offending anybody named 'Rowan', it's just me who finds the name a little less masculine than other boy names. For me, a boy should be 'macho', be it in his appearance or his behaviour. He should be the one who does not falter when faced with difficulties/hardship. He ought to fight like a soldier when in the army, behaves like a gentleman around the ladies and most importantly, possess the physical ability to do most simple labour-driven tasks like assembling or moving furniture, opening a tightly-closed jar, etc. I cannot bear to look at a man who struggles with bags of grocery where his wife handles them with much ease.
There's no reason why a man cannot be physically stronger, even Biology says men tend to be stronger than women, physically. But, it is not uncommon for some men to be weaklings though. I think it is only understandable for some men to be like this if they have a medical condition. But, not forgivable when they choose to be weak because they are plain lazy.
It's the baby naming that got me talking like a sexist, and to be honest, I am just pissed that we are getting nowhere with baby K's name. As much as I want to give the benefit of doubt to KL, I know that I am not wrong about him and that he has not putting in efforts to anything related to my pregnancy or to baby K.
It is frustrating, no doubt. Many people has advised me to give up on my expectations in order to feel less disappointed. However, for me, if my husband is not expected to perform simple-expected duties of a man, husband and daddy, then what good is he to me?! I jolly well can do without him right?
I can assure you that I am not suffering from any pre-childbirth anxiety or depression. It is just disappointment speaking up now, and it will only be a matter of time that I refuse to be disappointed.. anymore.
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