A new journey begins.. again!!!

Vivid memories of how and why I started blogging started to surface today.. I remembered I wanted to document all my precious moments during my entire pregnancy, including the good, the bad, and even the ugly!! The ultimatum can be found at the end of this post..

Now, here I am again, at this same phase of my life; bringing into the world a new addition to our family in a few months' time! :)

I don't really want to fuss about my pregnancy.. Hell no! How can I not fuss?! Who am I trying to kid?!!! I am more than just fussing, I am extremely careful and super thankful! For a start, my gratitude goes to only God, coz he heard and answered my constant prayers! Halijueja!! 

Being 37 this year, pregnancy can actually mean a dangerous 'medical condition' for me; especially since I had complications in my last pregnancy. 

My very professional gynae went on to greener pastures at the very private Mt Elizabeth Novena Center where he practices gynaecology and ob. No more is he at the affordable KK Women's & Children's hospital, where he was very catiously monitoring my pregnancy complication known as 'pre-eclampsia' and delivering Rianne safely.

I would love to go back to Dr Wee HY, but all I can say is, it will be a goddamn luxury if I engage him at the kind of rates his private clinic charges! 

Knowing that I might have to undergo a bunch of tests before finalizing my pregnancy, there was no time to lose! I knew a couple of my BFFs had their children delivered at private hospitals and that was not our plan. I seriously agree with what my friend, X, had urged about me going with KKH since I have a history of pre-eclampsia. Hence, we needed to find a 'replacement' to my Dr Wee who delivers at KKH. 

My friend X and Z had shared their experiences with Dr Han How Chuan who delivered their kids 7 years and 3 years back respectively. I felt kinda assured somehow hearing how confident this Dr Han is, and decided to do more research on him. I was already suspicious  of this Dr Han being the same Dr Han whom my mom is seeing since her operation a decade or two back, and a picture obtained from the internet confirmed this!! 

With this, I set my eyes on this Dr Han and wanted him to deliver my second child.. So, I called up KKH more than eagerly to secure an appointment with the very in-demand Dr Han (deduced this from testimonials & forums online) at approximately 7 weeks of my pregnancy. 

Who would have expected history to repeat itself and I was having spotting again (it happened in the first trimester too when I was with Rianne!) that came with lower abdomen and pelvis pain. 

The spotting lasted an entire day on Friday and continued into Saturday, when I decided not to take it lightly and went straight to the A&E at KKH. 

I cannot tell you how tramautic the whole experience was for me, right from the minute the doctor says they couldn't see my pregnancy and ordered a blood test for me. The test for the BCG level will determine if my pregnancy is normal or if it might be an abnormal one, such as an etopic pregnancy. 

Blood test results came back, and the concerned doctor wanted to be double sure and ordered for an ultrasound scan to see if they can find the foetus. Still nothing can be seen. The A&E doctor wanted me to return in 2 days time to assertain the pregnancy, but 3 days later I will be meeting Dr Han. Thus, I can just see Dr Han on Tuesday itself for his further examination. 

Anxious for my first gynae visit with KL, and even more anxious for Dr Han to confirm my pregnancy is normal and stable..

The ultimatum as mentioned, my post childbirth state in 2009!!

 

Wives are scary and disrespectful meh??

I chanced upon this article (link below) which a wife was sharing her behaviour & attitude towards her husband for over a decade ever since she was married to him. It is weird, (tell me if you think the same too!) as she was calling it abuse.

http://brando.tickld.com/x/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

My first thought after reading it was "What?! The wife and the husband swopped bodies is it? It was the husband who wrote this right?!!" Why would any woman, in a good state of mind publicly announce that she is abusing (verbally) her husband? If that was really abuse, wouldn't she be already prosecuted? Or worse, already ditched by the husband?

It doesn't make any sense to me especially when I truly believe that a woman (more so for a married one) tends to be more attentive to details than a man. So, it is of course of no surprise to me that a man will simply not notice the types of meat (leaner, less fats), the brand of household products, the process of washing colored clothes separately, or even the concerns over leaving hazardous items around a young toddler, which a wife painstakingly makes it a point to rememember all for the sake of her loved ones. Initiating a healthy diet for the entire family, making sure her loved ones are free from the threats of potential chemical poisioning and avoiding monetary losses to the household. The kind of efforts and attention to details says a lot.

You think about it. The men who don't remember details as mentioned above, amazingly can be the most meticulous when it comes to ensuring their work shirts are ironed with starch and not just plain water; or that their underwears definitely must be of breathable fabric (non-synthetic will be the best!) or of a certain brand hailing from Japan! I thought they didn't care? Or it is of no big deal?

Apparently losing yourself at the husband shows not just your disappointment of them failing to remember the key details; but also serving as a reminder to them not to repeat the same again. But, tell me, will they remember the next time? No, they will not. 

I'm married to the man I dated for 3 years , and 1 year into our marriage; I still find my bowl of noodles (whenever the order was placed by my husband) containing spring onions everytime!! Do I feel disappointed or upset that he forgets? Yes, I do but I learnt that you just have to constantly remind him each time before he places the order. It doesn't kill. 

However, I will be extremely angry if my husband is neligent around the children. And I think a little screaming to get things into his head is quite harmless isn't it? We are not out to belittle or insult the man we love, even more not to abuse. I prefer to call it positive reinforcement. 

Our first wedding anniversary

Unbelievable it may be, but we actually survived our first year of marriage. A first year of being husband and wife, but staying apart.

At some point, I think this is a pretty good arrangement. Knowing how 'relaxed' KL is with everything except money, it is to my best interest that he is not staying with me and Rianne as I cannot afford to lose myself every single day on top of going crazy with Rianne. However, on the flip side, living apart now may mean more adapting, understanding  and patience required when its time to stay together. 

We are a weird kinda couple you may like to describe us as. We sometimes quarel so fiercely like it is for sure to end up in a divorce, or sometimes the relationship got to this stage where I lied to KL about me having an affair behind his back. Hah, yes, I was this nasty to him! But, he was equally demanding too. When it comes to our joint finances, I am not getting why KL is so particular or so meticulous in the tracking and planning of our budget, savings and expenses. So much so that I cannot breathe at times. 

He insists that I properly track my expenditure and expenses on Rianne in a mobile phone app. I'm the kind who doesn't throw any receipts/bills away (useful when I need to do an exchange for things bought wrongly on impulse, haha!!), but I'm totally not the kind who will immediately organize or enter the spendings into a spreadsheet (in this case, an app). Hence, I refuse to give in to his request as I know I won't be able to adhere. 

Many (I believe guys) would praise KL for this wonderful, life saving habit; but not me. I mean, if this is what he is and what he wants to do; be my guest. He can do so himself, but not demand me to do the same. 

Well, I don't want this post to end up sounding like a complaining post about my husband. He isn't perfect, so am I. He has the virtues that I may not be able to appreciate now, but I am sure I will be thankful for them in the long term. 

Here's a big THANK YOU to the man who's forever so patient and well-tempered towards his 2 babies. I love you, lao gong, forever and ever. Happy Anniversary! 

The passing of Singapore's first PM, our Founding Father

The news shocked people all over the world. More specifically, every Singaporean was not able to come to terms with this incredibly sad news. Our Founding Father is no more. Mr Lee Kuan Yew has passed away on 23 Mar 2015 at 3.18am. 

The nation was in grief since Monday, 23 Mar 2015 and the hardest to take was when our PM, Mr Lee Hsien Loong announced in Parliament, the passing of his father; just hours after. 

I immediately went into denial, wanting it to be just one of the malicious rumours people spread every year before National Day or before Mr Lee Kuan Yew's birthday. However, it wasn't a rumour.. it was the truth. 

Condolences and tribute messages started flooding social media. Tribute centers were formed overnight and they were ready for people to pen their condolences for the late Mr Lee, place beautiful but mournful flowers as well as being a place for those who just want to spend a silent moment or two in front of numerous pictures of the great leader telling him "Thank you, Mr Lee for all you have done for Singapore, for us."

It was a diffcult 7 days for the entire nation when majority of the country men and women were weeping and grieving for a man who many were not that fortunate to have met him or spoke to him in person. 

Our mourning made international headlines when people spent hours queuing to pay their last respects to Mr. Lee Kuan Yew lying in state at the Parliament House, despite all conditions. 

The elderly in walking sticks, disabled seated in their wheelchairs, toddlers pushed in baby strollers, the sickly on strict medication schedule, the blue/white/no collar population taking time off work, and MPs taking turns to be with the queuing crowd, moves everyone (minus the odd minority) within the country and outside. Samaritians from all walks of life coming forward to give out food, drinks, fans, umbrellas to people in line with no expectation to be thanked or even be famed on tv/papers. It was a never seen before unity. Singaporeans coming together in times of distress, helping one another. 

On the other hand, negativity built up and spread like wild fire. One article after another, inducing comments after comments. It got so bad that some young junevile was charged in court for his 'personal views' on Mr. Lee Kuan Yew and also Christianity. What this triggered was a question that people living in this country since day 1 were still doubting - "Is there no freedom of speech in Singapore?" 

If we can't say what we want to say, then Singapore would be so much a 'quiet' country. Would your social media be this colorful (some say distasteful)?! Will there even be a need for a public speaking area in Hong Lim Park (if you have not already known and is asking the above question) if we Singaporeans can't speak freely. 

Let me turn the tables around and ask you instead, "Freedom of speech - do we speak with absolute dignity and respect for others?" Think about it, think about A.Y. who spoke without considering this question.. 

Wise up or open your eyes and read this..

It was never my intention to use my blog as a channel to vent, rant and lament about my miserable life; or how evil some people may be. I only wanted a platform to share with everyone, how experiences has moulded me into a strong woman, how my life has enriched along the years, and most importantly, how and somehow things happened to me for a reason..

I hate to admit that I feel, think and behave like a sexist. I do not discriminate the 'other' gender, but I stereo-type them all the time. I basically have that mindset 'pre-programmed' into my little brain, that men are all bad things. If bad is a terrible term to use on them, then how about "they are creatures who will at some point, hurt a woman, be it phyiscally or emotionally."??

I bet everyone has heard way too many stories about husband's infidelity, husband's notorious gambling, drinking, or drugs habits, husband who is abusive, and husbands who CHEAT! There is absolutely no way (not even over my dead body!) that I can condone infidelity. 

No excuse is acceptable nor reasonable (included reasonable because some men made infidelity sounds so justifiable!) in the case of an adultery! Yes, adultery is the legal term in the event a married person gets involved in another love relationship with a 3rd person regardless if it is sexual as well. And this applies to both genders, not just the men..

It often dawned upon me that men get married for the various reasons :

- permanent sex partner (1 only so risk of STD/AIDS = zero)

- willing maid in replacement of naggy mom/sister who has cleared and washed your dishes and laundry all their lives

- co-payer for all living expenses, including the chips you snack on every other day, and do you know that petrol is a damn expensive oil??!! 

- listening ear who patiently lends her ears, shoulders (you'l be surprised) to a whiny, ambitious man who complains every single day of why a peer is promoted instead of him

- a subsitute to entertain his parents, family, and relatives (like as if we women never run out of conversation topics!)

- a coerced function partner.. If only she still have the figure to fit that body-hugging bandage dress (tell me after you experienced childbirth!); or the energy to slap on layers and layers of makeup so as not to embrrass the husband in that gala party!!! 

The above speak for themselves, don't they?! I am not one smart woman and I can come up with this list. So how dumb we women actually are; to know these and still fall straight into the trap! No, don't call us dumb; call us blind. How easy it is to be blinded by love, and believe that love is everything. That love can put everything in place, and fix things that have gone awry... If love can do all these, then someone should brew tonnes of love potion to save broken hearts in this world every single minute. 

Back to what I said about things happening for a reason. You just gotta trust it if you caught a stealing husband, red-handed or with sufficient evidence to believe he cheated. Don't give him the benefit of doubt, why need to? It only makes him think that he got a dumb wife and that his cheating will go undiscovered forever. He's so damn wrong.. Didn't he watch 'Gone Girl'?? 

Women out there, listen up. No one should ever mistreat you, especially if he is the one who vowed in front of the whole world he would never do so.. You are a beautiful being, and you deserve to be treated like a human.

Family Joy..

It's funny how we went from "How much does it cost to have a baby in a private hospital?", "We need to discuss & plan..", and "Who's going to be the main caregiver for the baby?" to "How come not pregnant?", "Scarly you pregnant?", and "Cannot travel if you are exprecting.."

Like any other new couples might be thinking, "Is it time to have a baby?" I say, WHY NOT??!! 

As most of you would have known, Rianne was an unexpected gift from God. It wasn't meant to be, but I've got her now and I never looked back since.. (Cross my heart, really! Hah!)  Sure, I may have complaints and super grumpy moments triggered by my sometimes ill-behaved princess; but she is undoubtedly a joy to have! I'm a 100% certain all parents say the same of their kid/s! 

Single children (based on my own observation only, and may not be the case for all) tend to be a little selfish and anti-social (though this isn't true of my only child) as they are not always with other kids unless they go to a full day childcare centre. They never have to share anything with anyone (unless the silly parents want a piece of the kids' cupcake topped with a butterfly motif!), and they have everything they ask for.. at least they get it 90% of the time! 

To me, the characteristics of a single child isn't the most desirable in the curent society. Well, if you don't mind your kiddo growing up to be self-centered and starting every sentence with "I want.", "For me..", "I like.."; then please stop reading from here.

Folks around us with or without kids tend to have certain expectations of behaviour from little people nowadays. Let's start with social manners. All adults are now thinking that children should be friendly in nature, and has to smile/greet every single older person whenever possible. My own kid used to be like that, until she got traumatised by the incident when she was chatting with not 1 but 4 weird uncles at a coffeeshop! Hello, potential pedofile material I reckon of these uncles lah!!! Rianne got reprimanded by me after that time, and she now no longer allow herself to be exposed to such risks!! Hahaha.. Talk about being a friendly kid!! 

But still, I do believe that kids have to be responsive or at the very least, be respectful to family members; and you might not find this behaviour from a single child.

Now, sharing. This seems like an easy, no brainer thing to do. But this actually requires moral values to be instilled into the kid to have him/her see the big picture behind sharing. You can tell your child that good things are to be shared, and that you get joy from sharing. But where is that joy if the child has got no one to share things with? Unless "Mommy/Daddy wants one of my Frozen stickers?! Or a cheese-coated fish snack?!"

Lastly, and the most important reason to have more than 1 kid in the family, is to delimit your child's need for attention or companionship which you have been providing for years. You want to sink yourself into that couch, watch some silly telly, have an ice cold beer and dipping your hand into that huge party pack of unhealthy deep fried potato chips!! This is only possible when your children are in the kiddy room next door, building majestic towers/ships/motor vehicles with Lego pieces and taking turn to wear that icy blue Elsa dress and sing "Let It Go" to each other.. Playing by themselves and leaving mommy & daddy alone!!! Oh joy... :)

Happy in-laws!!

I always say I'm lucky, to have in-laws who are very nice folks..

My mother in-law (MIL) isn't one of those nightmare MILs you hear all the time from suffering daughter in-laws. Neither is she a super MIL who takes care of everything in your house, including babysitting your kids, if you happen to stay with her. My MIL is just plain nice. She's nice to me, Rianne and even my family..

She buys things on her trips for me, my mom & Rianne; but not for her son - my husband. Hahaha.. I think she regards me as her second daughter as whatever she buys for her daughter (my sister in-law), she buys another of the same for me too. Not only this, she also like to share good things with my family; like when she has good 'lobang' of a cheap, cheap hotel or chalet stay.

KL's brother managed to book a chalet for a few days recently as part of his staff benefits. The first few days were just KL's family and his sister's in-laws. My MIL actually extended the invite to my sister & my mom to come over to stay for 1 night. My sister, her husband & kids came by and we had a BBQ, swimming at the pool and had such a great time! 

Just on Saturday, we went for a staycation at the luxurious hotel which my MIL works at. It is also the same hotel where KL went down on his knees and asked for my hand in 2012. 

My MIL had the biggest discount for the hotel rooms, and she had booked 2 rooms for a 1 night stay over the weekend. Knowing how my niece and nephews enjoy swimming, my MIL asked me to invite my sister again! 

My non-selfish MIL also asked my mom to stay for the night in the room which KL, me, Rianne & my MIL was staying. Seems weird to have so many people sleeping in one room, and especially when 2 of them are our mothers!! But it was all great! We had a good, good time. So did the kids albeit that little accident where KL's 1 year old niece hit her head, else all is good!

I even heard the 2 mothers sharing receipes and exchanging pointers in cooking.. 

Happy in-laws, happy marriage!!! :)