Ms Fiancée - Me!!!

Eventhough no proposal's made yet by my beloved, I am still over the moon!

Yesterday was one of the those surreal moments I ever had being with KL in the past 6 months. We have been discussing and wondering if we should be applying for a flat soon, considering how long it takes for BTO (Built to Order) flats to be ready.

So, it felt just like the right thing to do, when the launch of new BTO flats were announced on Thursday. He was the one who initiated and did all the research about the available locations in this round of BTOs. We concluded that Yishun will be the best among the lot, and at least, more favourable to us and our families. And when I said favourable to our families, I really have their interests at heart.

Not my mom nor KL's family is aware of our intention. We do not want to reveal anything until we are balloted to select for the flats. Right now, it is still pretty much waiting, and fantasizing about our dream home.

We went checking out the location at Yishun where our potential house might be. It was such a great feeling knowing that I am going to build a home with this guy who's so much in love with me & Rianne. He was equally happy when we went scouting and peeping (yes, we really did peered into people's flats!) at the previous BTO flats, which are now ready and occupied.

We walked around the estate and to the MRT station, to get a gauge of the proximity to the train station. The walk was tiring, but I know both of us ain't at all exhausted. We were smiling and feeling all too excited about the plot of land where building works are just commencing.. ;)

PMS

I never believe in PMS, and I certainly ain't a victim of PMS.. or at least I thought I am not, until just now.

I was already cranky since my mom left me alone with Rianne early this Friday morning. The only reason why I was home instead of at work, is because I have fallen ill; quite badly ill as a matter of fact.

The cold from Wednesday night did not go away, but got worse. I was completely knocked down by the flu bug, sneezing and coughing away. I wasn't able to get off bed at all, not until Rianne dragged me out; she practically did that!

I had to go to the doctor, but with Rianne around? It was just so hard. KL offered to come by after work to bring me to the clinic, and I appreciate this kind gesture of his. However, it must be the PMS thing that makes me unreasonably unhappy with almost every single thing he does at my place.

His unwillingness to share with me about his interview, his mean words about Rianne, his refusal to stay over, all triggered my rage. I actually chased him home even before it was time to (he had said 11pm). I was just pissed with him sitting there, refusing everything I wanted for him. I didn't even stand at the corridor waving goodbye to him, like I always does with a reluctant heart to see him go.

I did peep, however, at him from outside of my flat, walking to the MRT station. I got more sore when I saw him busy on his mobile phone as he walked, but nothing came onto my phone. He wasn't texting me, obviously!

We are both in agreement of not probing into the privacy of who we SMS, or talk to, on our mobiles. So, I never brought that up when I call him eventually. I told him I was angry and unhappy, and even said I hate him for the silliest reason like not staying over at my place. I wonder what got into me?!!! Ehhhhh, it was PMS. Period.

Hahahaha..

Life.. Unexpected

Came to a conclusion that life's can be pretty fascinating as to how everyones' turn out to be so different.

Got news of an ex-bf going to marry his rebound gf, for the most unexpected reason I would expect coming from a sensible guy like him. But, on the other hand, it is kinda an expected action he would take being such a responsible man he is.

He was the 2nd guy in my life I wanted to marry, and I was quite sure of the happiness that is bound to come with the wedding. In fact, we were so close to being wed to each other as we had a flat application already put up. Things changed, and I admit if not because of me, we would be already married by now.

I do not know if we are both better off without each other. But one thing I am clear is, we were both deeply in love with one another when we were together. It was just not meant to be, for us.

Today, I am happily in love with KL and feeling so, so, so much blessed that he have never looked me down for what I have done before in the past. For a guy, a younger guy, to accept a woman who has a lovechild with her past lover, is a huge deal. He either gets mocked for being stupid or blind, or commended for being so magnimous.

I always tell him that I don't deserve him, not because I don't love him enough; but because life has been very kind to me. My close friend tells me, she foresee if I were to lose KL one day, I will be extremely heart-broken and may even go crazy. My friend is right, that will happen.

My life, a life filled with imperfections, has finally found a harbour which I can anchor securely at. This Pearl Harbour, gives me peace and so much love to Rianne and myself, that I have got nothing more to ask for, than a life expected to end with a sweet footer.. :)

Not time yet..

What comes to your mind when you see a subject that spells a great deal of negativity like this post? I am not going to kill myself, no way! But, I almost lost my life in my usual bus ride home earlier!!

I felt weird already when I first boarded the bus from the bus stop near my office. The bus reeked of kerosene, both outside and inside of it! I could smell it even before I got up the bus. Immediately I texted KL to ask him if it was normal for such a strong smell of kerosene to be present. His reply concurred to what I was thinking about in my head, to get down from that bus! However, I was too tired and this damn bus has taken so long to come so I cannot imagine how long it would take for the next one to come.

I fell asleep before I even realised, and by the time I opened my eyes; there was a whole lot of commotion on the bus. People were talking loudly, and I actually heard (when I pulled down my earphones of course!) "Ohhhh, no wonder there is such a strong smell of kerosene!" Everyone was then shooed down the bus by the helpless bus driver. Lucky I wasn't too far from home at that juncture.

This tiny episode suddenly enlightened me.. it must have been the wish of The Almighty up there, to let me be alive and live my life to the fullest. Life may have been really tough, and it is not any easier now with Rianne growing up so quickly. But I am strong. I will not quit, I will do whatever it takes to raise my little baby, my mistake from the past. No use looking back and dwelling on my stupidity which I can lament until the cows come home! I rather channel my efforts into better use like working hard and looking forward to a brighter future.. I know my time will come, the time when I finally taste happiness.

I do, I do..

You know how the elderly folks always describe us to have "borrowed the guts from a tiger" when we are super daring, and does some incredible misdeeds or maybe even heroic acts; that no ordinary mortal would attempt. I am thinking I might have indeed borrowed those from a tiger, or otherwise I must have been a tigeress in human skin and flesh..

You would never expect the person who has always been the passive party, and one who's never supportive of marriages and would just freak out at the mere mention of it; to actually be the one to propose a marriage. Yes, that someone did and that person is no other than me, my goodself! Haha..

Honestly, it wasn't at all a tough thing to do. Not when it was just asking my beloved boyfriend if he would say yes should I ask him to marry me. Of course I wasn't not the least shy or blushing when I asked him. In fact, my whole body grew so hot that I had to hide under the blanket after I popped the question! Well, it just seem natural that I should be proposing if I love him enough to want to spend everyday, for the rest of my life with him. Hence, it wasn't hard at all for my heart and mind to agree on the course of action. And viola, it happened and my heart actually felt a good sense of relief after saying it out.

Just like how anyone would react to a proposal, KL was surprised of course; and happy I know. He was grinning and asked me "Where got girl propose one!". He followed by asking if I meant now, to get married. I could totally see where KL was coming from with his question. We are both not financially stable yet, and he only started on a new job this month; so I understand the hidden message. My reply to him was "no lah, pretend I never ask..", in a joking tone. It is not because I got embrrassed and want to chicken out, but more like I don't want to stress him with having to marry me anytime soon. I want him to be ready for a family, a life, together with me and Rianne. He assured me that he's not saying yes now not because he don't want, he wants he so exclaimed.

Ha, tell me now if you think I am really gutsy (Oops, need to return them to the tiger!)..

The battle of the durians

I am definitely not a food gourmet if you have realized by now, but it isn't hard at all for me to start writing a post about mooncakes.. especially durian-flavored ones.

As usual, my boss has left me in charge of organizing the mooncake roadshow for this year. However due to space & time constraints, we were unable to have any hoteliers or confectioners coming to our office for a mooncake bazaar. Nevetheless I still managed to get the 2 top mooncake-specializing hotels to render an attractive corporate discount, and one had even brought samples down for our staff to taste.

I'm more of a snowskin than traditional mooncakes fan, though I have always adored those ham & nuts baked mooncakes, savoury & sweet, how intriguing! It is quite obvious that durian mooncakes are the hottest item in roadshows and bulk orders this year. The mooncakes that hit the highest order rate in our office was "Snowskin with champagne truffle" from Raffles Hotel, and the "Snowskin D24 durian" from Goodwood Park Hotel. But what caught both KL's and my eyes was the Mega Mao Shan Wang Durian Snowskin. Mega is what we thought would be impressive enough for the gift to my mom.

Indeed my mom was grinning from right from left when she received the Mega mooncake (1 piece only) from KL's hands. It was actually the last piece from the roadshow, so we count ourselves to be quite lucky, and with the credit card discount of 15%, the mooncake cost around $45.

The verdict : Contains pure durian pulp, so taste is not only rich but solid. Kinda like durian cake when you freeze it and eat it afterwards.

The other durian mooncakes which were surprisingly good are those from Home Favourites Cookies & Durian. The highlight of the mooncakes are they actually have got gold dust sparkled on top of them. Premium durian and Mao Shan Wang ones are what my kindest boss bought for both me & my colleague. They are priced at $70 and $75 respectively for a box of 4, which is insanely expensive! Needless to say, the person who benefitted most from this durian frenzy is no other than Auntie Lee Annie!

Just received another 3 more boxes of D24 durian Snowskin mooncakes from Raffles Hotel. Will try and see if they are on par with my 2 top favorites mentioned above.

I shall leave you with the pictures of the best tasting durian mooncakes of 2011, and you seriously should consider getting them next year if you missed this time!

Educating Rianne

I have thought my little nephew, Jayden, pointing at objects and asking his mummy "This one what?" to be quite amusing. And when I hear it from my own daughter, Rianne; I can no longer laugh..

I wanted to faint more than what I would do in my usual giggling self! It is undeniable that Rianne pick up things really fast, which in a way is bad as we almost cannot control the stuff she learn and start using them before we even know it. Take for example, she's a dialect expert. She can pronounce Hokkien words that accurately, way better than her mom! A 2 yr old toddler, an Eurasian, speaking fluent Hokkien words and phrases should be quite interesting to watch; but honestly, I am the least impressed!

More often than ever, I have wished Rianne to have a good grasp of English, then if she can, Chinese language would be the next. That is why I have always communicated with her in the former and lesser in the latter. I know there won't be a problem picking up Chinese/Mandarin when she goes to school the next time. I rather start educating her in English, and have her building up a stronger foundation than to struggle when she finally start school.

Talking about school, I cannot believe how incredibly hard it is to source for a centre which is going to take away close to $700 (provided I'm entitled to the government's subsidy) of my monthly salary for my toddler. It is still around 6 months before Rianne enters Nusery 1, and there is already no centre near where I stay that is available. It isn't like my criteria for the Montessori is super difficult to meet. All I am looking for is the centre should have adequately trained teachers and professional caregivers, and not just any cost-saving school
which scrimp on hiring good staff and compromise on the quality as a result.

My sister once told me it doesn't matter whether the kid goes to an expensive Montessori or just the PAP kindergarten, coz ultimately it is still the kid's inner talent that will give results. Hello, you'd only ruined your kid's talent and leave it completely undeveloped if you want to save money by sending them to lousy centres!