Coughing pains

My cough has been going on for 3 months now, and instead of getting better; it actually got complications.

I am having sharp persistent pain on my left waist everytime I cough. It is weird as the waist should be the least affected part of the body when I cough. I was actually more concerned, and very bothered about the incontinence I was facing than anything else.

Although KL has been nudging me to go consult a doctor about this, I was just dragging it day after day. Until this morning, I experienced the pain again in the shower and I was almost unable to stand up afterwards. It hurt so bad when I was coughing, and when I was trying to spit my phlegm. For a split second, I thought my waist was just going to break.

It didn't get better when I have finished my shower. I started to worry if it could be appendicitis. I continued getting ready for work, but it was so unbearable even when I move my body the slightest bit. I decided then I shouldn't be this stubborn coz I am just destroying my own body.

Headed to the clinic which is available at 7am, but ended up waiting until 7.45am before the doctor finally showed up. Preliminary checks indicate that the sharp pain may be a complication from my prolonged cough, as doctor says the ribs get impacted when I cough persistently. He said he can only diagnose my current situation with an X-ray done. Hence, he sent me off to a chest and ribs X-ray which I can pick up the results later and then go back to see him.

On my way to get the X-ray, the pain actually hit me so hard that I couldn't walk and was grabbing onto a pillar to rest. However the X-ray results shows no abnormalities of my chest and lungs, also no deformation on my left ribs. The doctor kinda concluded that it is nothing serious, but probably just a torn muscle. He asked me to complete the new meds he gave me, and my cough should be gone as well as the pain.

Seriously, I don't really have much faith in doctors nowadays. Spent a fortune consulting them, and never recover from old & new ailments. Let's see how the meds from the doctor will help this time..

Excessive & Expensive

I am on a taxi again.. and totally hating myself for it.

Wish I can blame my new employer for having their office located in the city, and then blame someone or something else for making me such a dilly-dally person. Just so, I feel less guilty for incurring all the expensive taxi fares.
However this will not in any way solve the problem, and the monies in my bank account will continue going into the cab company until I do something.

I learnt from all my years of employment that it is imperative to document down things that people say, so that you will not get in a situation where people say they didn't say what they did. Hence, to practise what I preach, I am now putting down the following :

. Thou shall not hit 'snooze' when the alarm rings every morning
. Thou shall drag my feet up, and away from the bed once thou open my eyes
. Thou shall iron my work attire the night before no matter how tired thou am
. Thou shall spend less than 1 hr in making up and dressing myself
. Thou shall take the MRT at all cost, unless I am still at home at 8.10am

I think I have covered the potential areas for causing my excessive and expensive commute to work. I will be really hopeless if I have not came to my senses with the taxi meter showing a total of $32.65 at Suntec!

Crazy me

I have never heard any girl complain about having too many shoes, handbags or even clothes. However, it may seem a tad too much when the girl buys a total of 4 shoes in 1 spree; and another pair in the same week.. Errrrmmmm, yes, I happen to be that girl.

I have been going to this shoe shop in Northpoint, Yishun for quite some time, and never managed to buy anything from them as shoes of my size are always sold out. Hence, I walked into the shop earlier with just an open mind to see if I may have any luck in getting a pair of flats which I am trying to replace my old filthy pair from KL, Malaysia. Little did I expect they would have my size in every single pair I tried!

You know how the story goes next.

I am now sitting on the bus with 2 bags full of shoes, convincing myself that I have got a great deal with those shoes; really cheap they are! Even to the extent of thinking these shoes kinda make up for my loss of sleep the past few days. I feel better already, hah! ;D

My little rascal

I don't know whether has the recent passing on of Papa D got anything to do with my increased patience threshold for Rianne's misbehavior, but I do feel the need to be less hard on the little one.

Unlike my mom, she's always on the 'ready-to-yell' mode at Rianne. I mean, I know she's a little rascal; and I really mean that, but still can't you have a little compassion for the girl who has lost her daddy to cancer. As if it isn't sad enough that her daddy died in his early 30s, before she can even grow up to care for him.. :(

Although Papa D has left us for the better (no more suffering!), there is no reason for me to completely erase his existence in Rianne's life. So, the term "daddy" and his name are still very frequently brought up, in order for Rianne to discipline herself like in the presence of a fatherly figure.

Rianne no longer wails when we brought up the passing of her daddy, and I kinda believed she might have come to terms to it. Else, she might have been simply been too oblivious to it, since Papa D has never really been around.

Being the naughty 3, Rianne really proved to be a handful; so much so that I always end up exhausted after every weekend. She's a lot more active, interactive or should I say talkative? A lot sociable, like a social butterfly! Mischievous, and temperamental, she can be extremely demanding and really try all means to get what she wants. Maybe that's where she drives grandma crazy, as the other person has always been in control in the whole household!

I am hoping as Rianne gets older, she will understand and differentiate bad behaviour from the right ones. I don't think I have borne myself a rascal at heart, definitely not the little person who says "I love you mommy" every night and give you a hug that feels like the warmest cashmere ever..

Ambition

I was just thinking the other night, I recall I didn't dream of being what I am today; back in the past.. in the past when I knew what an ambition was, and desired to have the most ridiculous occupation ever - a housewife.

But, at least there was an ambition; something that drives an individual to progress to the destination. I cannot visualise someone's life without an ambition, and what if there are other people in that life with you? It is simply immature to leave a job just because you are unhappy, and not have a better job to throw yourself into. You then give yourself all kinds of excuses like "I resigned without a job because I can afford to", "Why should I force myself to stay in a company if I am not happy there?"

No one should be compelled to stay in a horrible work environment, but it is definitely not the wisest move to leave a job without something else on hand; as there is a possibility you struggle to find the next job. And what about the ambition? You forgot you work your hardest everyday to get to where you dream to be at, and in a flash; the impulsive you throws in a white flag and put a halt to your future.

I am sorry but I ain't exactly sympathetic to people who make unwise calls like this, especially when you know you are accountable to someone; or not at least when you know some people are going to rely on you in the near future. :(

A brand new start

It is still hard to believe that I will no longer travel to the same destination I have been doing for the past 3 years from today onwards, no longer sit in the same office working with the same people, and no longer get to savour the Thai delicacies so conveniently accessible; though getting to the restaurants require a bit of shortage of oxygen as will be holding my breath!

Am both nervous and excited about the new company, environment, and the people I'm going to meet and work with. The uncertainty of how soon and how well I am going to adapt, gives me butterflies in the stomach. But, I am all prepared to rough out any tough sea that may come my way as I am sure today will be better than yesterday.. :)

Adios, my friends

Apart from being very expressive, I am also one of those emotional freaks who will cry like a big baby at the slightest drama. So much so that I can even tear hearing my own words!!

There is this saying in both English & Mandarin, "All good things must come to an end". But why should they, I tend to ask. Is it because one should not only get good things, in order to understand misery, or learn to be appreciative? This is absolutely not my intention when I decided to end my journey with my employer of almost 5 years..

I love my job, my boss, my colleagues, as well as the 500+ folks in the organisation! The relationships I have with the staff are really amazing, and that's why it is so hard for me to do what I need to do without shedding a single drop of tear.

A week filled with farewell luncheons & dinners, 2 bouquets of flowers, well wishes and some generous gifts, made me really really touched. I know I stand a place in the hearts of many, and this gives me such a strong sense of job accomplishment; that I can so proudly say that I have done my job well in the 5 years with the company.

There was only 1 negative comment out of the many notes I received. It came from a person whom I believe derives pleasure from doing what she does best.. and I wish her all the best in the organisation, without her strongest rival - me.